October 19

In 1987, I became pregnant with the biggest blessing of my life, Jacob Wilson Barfield.  We had trouble from the beginning as I began to spot and the fear was another miscarriage.  Joan Simpson assured me just days before she died when she gave me a book of baby names and a baby blanket that she had it on good authority that the Good Lord was going to take care of me and my baby!

Later in the pregnancy I got sick every single day at 10 p.m. at night.  That is after I ate way too much food during the day.  I had to go home and live with my Mother for the last three months of my pregnancy while Kenny was in dental school as I needed to be near my doctor in case of any more trouble.

The baby was not due until the end of November but in early November, Tom got a new sonogram machine.  Paula and I decided to see if we could figure out if it was a boy or a girl while Tom was at the hospital on a Friday afternoon.  He caught us!  He then did a look around and saw that Jake’s cord was wrapped around his neck. He knew this was not good and had me come back to the office on Monday after checking with me all weekend long.  On Monday, he decided to induce labor on Tuesday morning.  It was clear to him there was a problem, and I was just too scared of becoming a parent to realize the severity of the situation.

As we did that final push and Jake was born, everyone in the room gasped as they realized when he was born that he had a true knot in his cord.  Tom told me that this baby should have been still-born, but God was looking out for him the whole time.  I was so scared at how close I came to losing this precious child. I realized right there that I needed to trust in God to protect him everyday of his life. 

I can’t tell you how many days and nights I have prayed for God to place a hedge of protection over him to protect and guide him.  I have prayed that God would send the right woman to be his mate (and God did so answer that prayer in our sweet Haley).  I have prayed that God would bless him with favor in his life with his jobs, his peace, his desires, and his service.  I pray for the grandchildren that are not yet born that Jake and Haley will be the parents who let God shine through them.

It’s funny that the initial fear the moment of his birth has propelled me to pray constantly for my son.  But that is what fear is supposed to do?  It is to remind us to lean on God and not try to do it on our own.  I am thankful that Jake is a child of God, and everyday I see evidence of God’s hand in his life.

I’ll close by saying this every time I end a post………….Let go, and Let God!  Don’t let fear in your life.  Use fear as a means to lean on God.