October 15

When I was 11 years old, my father had his first major heart attack.  Carolyn and I rode the bus every day to the high school and stood outside of Mother’s room until the bell rang.  On that day in March of 1974, Helen Rolf met us and took us to the special ed office where we sat with her and Joan Simpson.  They explained that Daddy was very sick and Momma was with him at the hospital.  Helen was to carry us home where my Grannie Lester was waiting to stay with us until my Momma could come home and give us a report. 

She did later that afternoon.  I remember asking her if Daddy was going to die.  She said I don’t know.  He could and we need to be prepared for that if it happens.  I later learned that it was really touch and go for the next 7 days as my Daddy had continual attacks one after the other.  Our friends in town took turns sitting with my Momma at the hospital while we continued our daily routines of school and home with my Grannie there with us. 

It was finally decided that Daddy would go to Houston to see a doctor that Neil Watkins got him into at St. Luke’s.  He had to be driven to Houston instead of flown in an ambulance, and there were fears that he would die along the way.  I was scared that I would lose my Daddy and I was only 11 years old.  Carolyn was only 7 years old at the time.  But I was scared.  Scared of the fact that Momma didn’t lie to us and tell it was all going to be ok when she didn’t know if it was.  Scared of the fact that I had never had anyone close to me die before and didn’t really want to experience it at age 11.  And scared of the fact that I did understand how serious it was and had no idea how my Momma was going to fix this mess. 

The thing I look back on now is that fear is something we lean on when we forget to lean on God.  I now know that  God had this the whole time.  He had an amazing plan and put some pretty awesome people in our lives. Hubert and Joan checked in on Grannie every day as she was taking care of us.  Hubert stayed by Momma’s side at the hospital as did a number of other friends who took turns and shifts staying there.  Neil Watkins got us in with Dr. John Hall, a world class cardiologist who had Dr. Denton Cooley do open heart surgery on my Daddy.    Again, just evidence that God had this the whole time.

I’ll close by saying this every time I end a post………….Let go, and Let God!  Don’t let fear in your life.  Use fear as a means to lean on God.