Dying

Daddy's birthday this week reminded me of the loss I suffered when he went to heaven last June.  This past week I have also experienced loss again.  Miss Ann, as she was affectionately known, has suffered so since her surgery and her family made the decision to honor her wishes in her living will.  Another family is losing one of its core members.

Miss Ann's situation has brought forth so many good memories in spite of the tragedy of this situation.  Last night as Kim and I talked we were recalling the things from our past about her Mother that were good memories.  I wanted to focus on some of things and the lessons that I learned from them.

When I was in the 9th grade and tried out for majorette, Miss Ann was my twirling teacher.  We discovered too late that she was gifted in that area and didn't really put much effort into trying out.  But the thing I learned from Miss Ann was to try harder.  And I did.  And I won the next year.

When Kim was a but a little girl and times were hard for school teachers, Miss Ann cooked four pieces of fish for the family.  Kim assumed they were having a fish fry and invited our whole family for dinner.  Much to our family's surprise, there was but four pieces of fish.  Miss Ann cobbled together some other stuff from the fridge and we all ate together as if we were having a big ole southern' fish fry.  I learned that you are gracious as a hostess no matter what and that you are gracious as a guest - no matter what is served.

I will never forget the night before Jacob was born.   My Mother was playing bridge, my Daddy was home with me and Kenny was traveling from Dallas.  I went to Miss Ann's and burst into tears exclaiming that I was not ready to be a mother.  She assured me that I was and that it was really too late to change my mind.  A week later when I brought Jake home from the hospital and everyone had gone back to work, she came over when I panicked about bathing him.  She assured me that Dial soap and water would not kill him and that he was a pretty sturdy little guy.  I learned alot about not stressing over the little things from her in those early months and years of Jake's life.  She and my Mother taught me that kids can eat rice cereal before the pediatrician tells you they can, Dial soap will not rot the baby's skin off, and boys are going to get cuts, bruises and scrapes as they go through life.

She raised a lot of kids at "Miss Ann's Day Care" and I am sure there are so many others that can share a life lesson learned from Miss Ann.  As she approaches the final days of her life, lets not dwell on the sadness but on the memories of great things that we learned from our Southern friend - Miss Ann!

Daddy's Birthday

Every year on March 26th we celebrated the birthday of my sweet Daddy. Roy Wayne "Buddy" Cagle was born on March 26, 1933.  He passed away last June.  Mother made a big deal out of birthday's.  She always taught us that YOUR birthday was your special day to celebrate your life and blessings God had bestowed upon you. So every year, Mom would host a big birthday party for Daddy for the immediate family and close friends. 

The party has traditionally been held at Hamp's cabin the last 10 years and Hamp would always fry fish for Daddy.  We would all trek in for the party with gifts for the man who had everything.  As our lives got busier, our kids grew up and we moved farther away from home, it became more and more difficult to find a day that everyone could gather for the "party".  But Mother always insisted that we celebrate the birthday of Daddy and we always knew that it could be the "last" birthday we ever celebrated with him. 

We would bring gifts of an interesting nature.  He got a squirrel bungee for the backyard, an strange tool that would do just one special thing, a rock that came from an interesting place or a handmade knife (as if he didn't have enough) that was made especially for him.  He always delighted in the gifts, the cake and the fish but at the end of the night when we sang "Happy Birthday dear Daddy", he would always say that the best gift of all was having us all together as a family to fellowship with him.

I learned many lessons from my Mother and Daddy but one of the most important lessons is to love your family and enjoy the love they have for you.  Little did we know that last year was the LAST year that we would ever celebrate Daddy's birthday with him.  As I reflect today on him, I join my Mother and sister and our "family" as we celebrate his life in spirit with him.  He was a great man and I was so blessed to call him my Daddy. 

Daddy, I especially miss you today because I did not get to celebrate your birthday with you this year.  I hope you are celebrating in Heaven with those who have joined you there!  I love you and I miss you so much.  You were a great Daddy!

Gathering of Friends

Do you know value of real friends?  I do and I cherish those special people in my life.  I love having them around to talk to and laugh with as much as I can.  Since my Daddy died, I really do appreciate having those special people in my life that are the people I call my friends.  These people are the family you pick because of their importance in your life.

I am so blessed to have so many dear and wonderful friends. I have also learned that to have many friends, you must be a friend.  Being a friend is giving when you are tired, smiling when you are sad and putting someone else above your own wants.  Being a friend is letting someone into your heart and sharing your world with with them.  Being a friend is going that extra mile for someone just because.........

I love having friends.  They are worth more than riches and gold. They are the pearls that enrich your life because of the memories you have made!  I listened last night at a gathering of friends talking about old times and people in their lives.  Making memories with friends sustains us on cloudy days when we are out of sorts.  Planning with friends gives us positive things to look forward to in our lives.

If you are my friend, thank you for being there for me!!